best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
