Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
