it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
