Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
