Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
