wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just had sex on a roof
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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