If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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