As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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