The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
