i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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