just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
