ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Alive.
So much puke
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
