Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Less talking, more tequila
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
