There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
