one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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