I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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