I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
In America we eat man semen.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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