Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
