After last night, I could never be a politician.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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