so let's talk penis.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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