On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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