I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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