What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
