K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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