Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
