Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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