no, he came in my armpit
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
