Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
