Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
