Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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