do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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