week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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