Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
