Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
