the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
