allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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