Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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