I heard we made out
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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