farters have to be the big spoon...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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