How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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