If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
