Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
