drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
where are you?
Hypothermia
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
