I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
