some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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