My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
