Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega

Fav 11 2924 972
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(913): View more from Kansas

I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me

Fav 22 7049 1379
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(678): View more from Georgia

Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.

Fav 6 2782 1251
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob

Fav 28 2346 5394
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair

Fav 5 2948 1062
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(415): View more from California

We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.

Fav 11 1926 2266
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(954): View more from Florida

damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian

Fav 6 2715 930
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment

Fav 6 807 598
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(512): View more from Texas

That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name

Fav 0 48 5
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