Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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