i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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