Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
